Some women hate men. Some men hate women. Some couples fight all the time. Some couples lie to each other. Some couples marry for money. Some couples marry for the sake of marrying.
Some couples forget their wedding vows.
It is still vivid in my mind, that day. May 25th, 2003, Sunday. And the vows are more than remembered, they are memorized, we say it every single day.
He said;
I, Kevin Colemann, take you, Monica Machese, to be my friend, my lover, the mother of my children and my wife. I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, in failure and in triumph. As my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us. I promise to laugh with you in good times, to struggle with you in bad; to solace you when you are downhearted; to wipe your tears with my hands; to comfort you with my body; to mirror you with my soul; to share with you all my riches and honors; to play with you as much as I can until we grow old; and, still loving each other sweetly and gladly, our lives shall come to an end. I love you.
I said;
I, Monica Machese, take you, Kevin Colemann, to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I promise to live with you and laugh with you; to stand by your side, and sleep in your arms; to be joy to your heart, and food for your soul; to bring out the best in you always, and, for you, to be the most that I can. I anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the man you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us, and I thank the Lord for the love that has bound our hearts and lives together in spiritual fellowship of marriage. I will love, honor, and cherish you always, as we enter upon the privileges and joys of life's most holy relationship, and begin together the great adventure of life. I will love you in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, in sorrow as in joy, and will be true to you, so long as we both shall live. I love you.
We said as we exchanged our rings;
May this ring forever be to you the symbol of my growing love.
And the priest said;
I hereby declare you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.
Although ours was self-written and a bit lengthy, it still gives me a furry warm feeling every day I say it. Even though I've said it for 1184 days (I counted this!). We mean it every single time we say it, and I know he does by that expression in his eyes, the same one he gave on May 25th, 2003. And that smile, that smile I see everytime when we're driving and I lean against him or do something weird. And that - face. That face so familiar, I see it everyday, every morning, every night. Those nights I couldn't sleep or those nights when Xavier cried from nightmares, and those nights when Caitlyn couldn't stop crying. When he would get up no matter how tired he was, or what time he had to get up the next day. He would get up if I couldn't, and he'd go to their room, pick them up, cuddle them and then give them what they needed.
I'm lucky to have such a good partner. A lot of adults don't, no? They say they have no time, they say they can't, and so they don't. They don't find true love, they don't wake up to seeing the person they love right beside them. They don't feel good. At all. They don't smile the way I do when I see Kevin playing with Xavier outside as I lean against the door. They don't smile the way I do when Kevin offers to change Caitlyn's diapers. They can never imitate that smile I have on my face when Kevin reaches over to plant a kiss right on my lips. And they can never, ever imitate that smile when Kevin fingers my ring, and says the marriage vow every single night.
Why is it that people have this idea of romantic being in Venice sitting in a boat? Sure, the place is wonderful, but why don't you look for something simpler? Dinner and movies for a night just for the two of you? A day at the beach with your kids? Or simply just turn on the music, light a few candles, lie on the bed and talk about everything there is to talk about, you in his arms.
Sure, some women love being the boss. Some women are career-minded, and they love being so. But, I mean, let go a little. I never aspired to be the CEO of some big company, but I never wanted to be a useless bum after I got married either. Sure, you can aspire, but why let it get in your way of finding a partner? True love doesn't necessarily mean giving up your job, does it? True love can only make you feel like giving up your job, everything, but if you don't, you don't have to.
How else do you think the other women found their other halfs?
Kevin loves the kids, and he's been a good father. He's been faithful, he's been working to raise our kids, and I know. And I appreciate him. I tell him I care by attempting to stay up to wait for him while watching Tivo, although I fall asleep on the couch most of the time. I tell him I care by letting him watch his Grey Anatomy reruns on the weekends while I'm busy with the kids, and stuff like that. I tell him I care by giving him a peck on the lips as he comes through the door everyday.
And he does too. When he works OT and he comes home and he sees me sleeping with the Tivo on, he comes over as quietly as he can, gives me a kiss, and heads over to the bathroom. When he's out he'd carry me into the room where by that time I'd 'magically' awake and start talking to him. When I let him watch his reruns he'd at least carry one of the kids and sit there so I'd have to take care of one person less. And he's never been unfaithful.
He's never stopped loving me.
It's those little things we do, that makes so much a difference, that tells our partners that we love them. The most important thing is to remember the marriage vow, your marriage vow. The vow you made for a commitment and not in the heat of a moment. The paragraph that you will forever remember til that very last breath you take, that paragraph that takes you through it all. There's nothing a pair of lovers can't solve.
And I'm "falling in love a little more every day" with my man.
