Got forced to participate in a research by Jess.
You appear to others around you as a person who is simply 'laid back'. From time to time you shelve your ambitions and forgo the desire for prestige and recognition and you are often considered as mentally lazy. You have the ability and you are the first to know this, but you prefer to take things easy and indulge your longing for comfort and security.
You are very talented, imaginative and sensitive but you are holding back as you do not really like going it 'on your own'. In preference you would like to team up with someone, someone with similar attributes as your own, to explore - to seek out and go perhaps 'where no other man has trod before'. It is the unusual that attracts you and which will give you a sense of excitement and adventure.
It's the old old story - I am misunderstood - my partner (be it in your private life or in business) just doesn't understand me and YOU also believe at this time that you are being completely MISUNDERSTOOD by one and all. It then obviously follows that you naturally feel inhibited and not appreciated. It is perhaps because of this belief that you feel compelled to stand back and let the rest of the world go by. As for developing a firm relationship - inwardly deep down in your subconscious mind you are wary of even trying to get close to another person because you feel that if you open up your heart and feelings you are sure to get hurt. Since you are living in a society where close relationships are the norm, you feel that there is that need to conform, but any close relationships of any magnitude that you may have tried in the past have unfortunately left you without any sense of emotional involvement.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.
But reliable information! Hot stuff!
Haven't been online much.
Guess most of the people already know about my dad. I'm too tired to write, so I'll copy what I wrote to Jess;
When i was really young, probably eight, one of my most remembered memories was that i almost drowned at sea. Papi, he was half mexican you see, and boy he could swim. He dragged me ashore and then mom got me a towel. Papi ran a mile to get me a hot chocolate drink.
When i was about 15, i got into a whole lot of trouble. I almost did drugs, got drunk every night and ran away from home once. Papi found me at my boyfriend's house and he paid my boyfriend ten bucks and asked him to keep me alive.
I went home after four days. I didn't eat for one.
When i got out of college i was looking for a permanent job and not mowing people's lawns. He got me a job at his pharmacy and we left the house and the farm (that's what he called his pharmacy, lol) together in his car. I drove most of the time. After a while he got me a car. He said he was getting too old to drive, and he was only 50.
The day i got married he walked me down the aisle and as he was handing me over to kevin he handed him ten bucks and told him to make sure to keep me alive. I cried and my mascara smeared really, really bad. But i didn't care. The pastor had to stop for five minutes so kevin could get some kleenex and wipe away the flowing mascara.
When i gave birth to xavier i went into a coma for days, he drove all the way from michigan and stayed at home with my mom to take care of the baby while kevin slept at the hospital. He knew that kevin wouldn't have gone home, and xavier wouldn't be taken care of. Papi knew me, just like that.
When i gave birth to caitlyn he left michigan alone again despite his heart problems aplenty, and drove all the way down to san franc. He told my mom that he was going to settle down in san franc, no bargains. My mom had no choice but to agree.
My dad died in his sleep. He left the world a peaceful old man with two grandchildren who will remember him and five children who will love him forever who will find their other halfs in life. Things might get tough, but we're going to go through it all.
If you would pardon the grammatical errors. I wasn't coherent enough and I'm too lazy to edit it.
